Is it okay to end a relationship or friendship? Did God create us all to be friends all of the time and never cut ties?

Relationship [definition]: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

While the word relationship is a noun, relating to another person is a verb. Verbs are actions and they are present right now.

In elementary school, I had this friend named Carolina. She was smart, talented, very kind to everyone, assertive (that’s kid code for bossy), and taught me all about her home of Costa Rica. We were best friends. We were so close that, when we weren’t in school or church together, I would talk incessantly about her and our many adventures (apparently she did the same). On the weekends, my parents’ patience would only go so far, so sometimes we had a “no Carolina weekend.” This meant that I had to talk about anything BUT Carolina and our chat-filled friendship. Can you relate to this, either you or someone you know? Ha.

At some point, we grew apart. It happens; yet she will always be a wonderful piece of my life story. But what about those relationships we have that are so very close, yet leave us feeling _______? (Insert: terrible about ourselves, small, guilty, down, jealous, a little off) Sometimes we become thick as thieves with people who seem like the best friends in the world, yet we can’t be our true selves with them. This doesn’t just happen with teenagers (despite what all of the TV shows portray)–it continues to surprise me when I see a self-confident, incredible, mature woman in all other areas of her life simply crumbles to an insecure, cowering follower when around her friends.

Is it okay to “break up” with people? Is it okay to move away and never speak to someone again?

This might seem like a strange question to ask during the pandemic, when most all of us are craving to see our loved ones and longing to be around people in person again. Yet, I see this time as an opportunity: What are the relationships in your life that you’d like to give focus to? Maybe you want to get in touch with a long-lost classmate or cousin. Perhaps you realize that there is one person in your life whose treatment of you (and even social media posts) is unhealthy for you. Is there one relationship you can think about that you’d like to change? 

May God reveal wisdom as we do our best to have healthy, whole relationships with others. And may we include ourselves in the process of loving better.

Just something to think about…happy weekend!

~Laurel